Apr 2004
Pay to be paid
Regular readers will be aware that I'm pretty much pro-BBC in most respects. However, there's a story on the cover of today's Press Gazette which simply beggars belief.
The BBC wants freelance contributors to pay for their invoices to be processed if they go above a certain number per year and want to use the shiny new electronic payment system. A BBC spokesman has defended the move by pointing out that stamps aren't free, so neither is the new system.
I am sure the overlords of this particular blogging system won't want me to swear. Unfortunately that leaves me rather short of ways to describe this stupid, ignorant, cack-handed, unjustifiable move. A number of people on the Freelance mailing list (see the link on this page) have suggested we all invoice the BBC for handling their license fee. Sounds reasonable to me.
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Ramsay's nightmares
So, when is journalism not journalism? How about when it's a documentary? Take last night's 'Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares' on Channel 4, in which celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay visited a hopeless chef, all but reduced him to tears, knocked him into shape and then came back a month later to see it had all fallen to pieces again.
Don't get me wrong, it was wonderful, wonderful viewing. But it would have been good to get someone in there to explain a bit about balance. For example, although the boy Gordon rightly berated the kid who was supposed to be in charge of the kitchen, he was remarkably easy on the owner. Yes she was facing bankruptcy, but she's employed someone completely unqualified, not offered any training, freely admitted she didn't know what was happening in the kitchen at any given time.
Entertaining? Certainly. But I was waiting for Ramsay to round on her and explain whose fault all of this was, instead of which we got him taking potshots at the easy target.
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Media on media
Yesterday I wrote a piece on Michael Parkinson's departure from the BBC (OK, having rubbished the idea only a week ago). Today the papers are full of it, which leads me to a cynical question. Why does the media think everybody is interested in the media all the time?
Whether it's stories about Conrad Black and the Telegraph (of interest to City types) or who's going to be director general of the BBC, I can't help but wonder whether we journalists have developed an exaggerates sense of our importance. A salutory event happened to me when Rosie Boycott took over as editor of the Daily Express. That's interesting, I said to my wife, whose only response was that she didn't understand why I was so interested in the career moves of someone I'd never met.
And yet the move got loads of coverage, as has Parky's shift to ITV. I wonder whether anyone outside Fleet Street, whose staff see themselves as Parky's nearly-colleagues, understands quite what the fuss is about.
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Parkinson syndrome
Whoo-ops. On 20 April I said in this space, in good faith, that Michael Parkinson had agreed to another two-year stint as the BBC's chief chat show man, and indeed that was what he and the BBC were saying. I also berated some of the papers for claiming otherwise.
One of my pet hates is when journalists pussyfoot around when they're proven wrong so I'll just come out and say it: I was wrong, the original announcement jumped the gun and Michael Parkinson is off to ITV. The BBC has re-acquired the footie and will show Match of the Day in the slot he wanted, and he's been less than happy about his show moving around all the time. He wanted 10.00pm, was offered 9.00pm and he walked.
Reminds me of when the Beeb lost film ace Barry Norman, also because they couldn't decide when his show should go out, so they buried it whenever they felt like it in the schedules. I do hope they're not going to make a habit of this - they're in too delicate a state to let good people walk just at the moment.
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Taste yet again
Yes, I know this is amounting to something of an obsession. But yesterday I half-joked that I was dreading today's papers to see what new excesses were happening and whoopee, on the Today programme, a story about pictures of dead US soldiers sparking a controversy in America. I note this purely as a matter of record.
Speaking of taste, anyone see Express owner Richard Desmond's
outburst against the would-be buyers of the Telegraph? He's an experienced businessman and you can only but wonder what objective he honestly thinks will be served by such a statement. I doubt it has won him many friends.
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Taste - 4
I take it back. The pictures of Gloria Hunniford yesterday were obviously the height of decorum - the public use of the pictures of Princess Diana which have caused such an uproar, taken as she was dying in her car, have to be the peak of crass insensitivity. Unfortunately they seem to have occasioned a whole set of nationalistic criticisms of American TV in the press. It's OK, the commentators seem to be saying, it's happening over there. The UK press, by implication, is better.
Except of course the story is splashed all over the place over here, so the hacks get to bask in its glory without sullying their hands by publishing the picture. Instead they content themselves with a 'standard' picture of the Princess and a pic of the car after the crash. And of course it's all over the front pages, so let's not kid ourselves that the British press isn't rubbing the Royals' noses in it just as much as the Americans.
I'm half dreading whatever new excesses tomorrow's press will bring.
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Questions of taste 3
I was hoping not to be writing about this again so soon, but here we are. A couple of times I've raised the issue of taste and restraint when, say, there's a tragedy - one of my rants was about a picture of a dead woman with her breast exposed after the Madrid bombings, and a more clear-cut (in my view) piece came after journalist Carol Barnes lost her daughter, She was of course followed to Australia by photographers, who clearly thought it essential that they took pics of her grieving, for publication.
And here we are again. Very recently TV presenter Caron Keating died at an appallingly young age. That much is fact and people will want to know, fair enough. But were the pictures published today of her mother, Gloria Hunniford, at the funeral really any more than an attempt to feed voyeurism? I doubt it.
Someone in the public eye dying is of course newsworthy. That person having a funeral of some sort shortly afterwards isn't news, it's blindingly obvious. I hope the press will leave the family alone for a fair while after this
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Another story bites the dust
Frequent readers of this blog will be aware that I have my dislikes, among which is talking up a story which is denied by all concerned. Take an item from the Daily Mail last month, in which it proclaimed that Michael Parkinson was going to leave the BBC amid falling ratings and show that could no longer attract the big names. Did he have a contract with the BBC, they asked; no, was the answer, he was negotiating for the next batch of shows. Did the BBC intend to get rid of Parkie, they asked, no, said the BBC, they were negotiating the new contract. The headline said Parkinson was in trouble when everyone concerned said the reverse. Of course, people do lie about things, so the fact that the story ran must surely indicate that there was some sort of pre-knowledge on the part of the reporters?
Today, the BBC announced that Michael Parkinson had agreed to do at least another two years of his chat show and that it was safe on Saturday evening. Good job too, I'd cheerfully name and shame the idiot who got rid of it in the 1980s if I knew the name. But will the papers run any apologies? I'll wait and see but I've got this feeling...
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Stuff we do
It must be just me. I was about to write a piece deriding the tabloids for their total fascination with all things Beckham. Ooh look, he might have had an affair. Ooh, look, another one.
I mean, so what? Is this what we journalists work and strive for, printing idle tattle about a bloke and woman whose marriage is nothing to do with us?
Then I see in the Press Gazette that the News of the World put on 100,000 in sales as a result. As I say, it must be just me.
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Celebrities and their habits
Don't forget tonight, those of you in the UK, Have I Got News For You is back. It's Alexander Armstrong in the chair which is the second-best thing to pulling themselves together and getting Angus Deayton back; next week it is Greg Dyke, which I hope will be livened up with a few spiky comments and who knows, maybe some actual info on what happened when he was sacked.
It's odd about Deayton remaining ousted, though (he now has a new show coming up on ITV). The rationale was that the show was supposed to be about the news - once the presenter
was the news people would be talking about the presenter rather than the items being satirised. Not sure whether it's just me, but as far as I can see ever since they chucked Deayton the show's been entirely about the presenter and not the news.
Memo to BBC: When you have the right person in a job,
don't sack them...
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Tracking articles
There's clearly a lot of interest or market hype - whichever - surrounding Google, the search engine of choice for those in the know. Whether for being recommended in The Guardian or for The Guardian getting the mick taken by Private Eye for recommending it so much (which got it mentioned in Private Eye as well, you'll notice) or for taking lawsuits out against porn search engine Booble, it's had loads of attention.
Some of its lesser-known associated sites, though, get less press time. Of particular interest to freelances is
Googlealert. This inspired service is free; you put what you're searching for in and it'll let you know when it turns up on the Web again. It's good for research of course but the great thing for freelances is that you can put your own name in. Then when a publisher puts something we've written up on their site, GoogleAlert fires off an e-mail telling us an article has appeared under our byline.
This wouldn't be any great shakes except not all reproduction of articles is authorised. There are people who think 'that's interesting' and help themselves to an article, putting it up on their site immediately, which is copyright theft. Some publishers of course don't understand copyright laws and think they have the right to put something on their site if it's been published, which is wrong; others will be horrified that they are in breach and will immediately offer some sort of recompense. I know one journalist who's recovered a few hundred quid in this way. Worth knowing, I think.
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Male or female, who cares?
Guardian's media pages yesterday seemed to hint that we're almost certainly going to get a female director general at the BBC following Michael Grade's appontment in the chair, or Michael Jackson if he applies. That's a fun one - they're touting ex-Five head Dawn Airey as a candidate, and if Grade was called pornographer in chief then goodness knows what 'let's put erotic films on terrestrial TV' Airey will be called.
But I'm a little puzzled over one thing. Aren't we past the time when stating someone is a woman DG (as opposed to Dawn the DG or Michael the DG or whoever) is particularly interesting or noteworthy? I'd rather hoped we were. If Grade chooses Airey or any other woman as director general my guess is that he'll be doing so because he believes they're right for the job, not because of any gender bias, inverted or otherwise.
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Time of the month
Even with a daily blog like this, you realise there are some things that would have been better if you'd planned and structured them a little. Next month I must remember about interest rates.
You see, by the time this comes out you'll be aware if you're in the UK that the Bank of England has kept interest rates at 4 per cent.
Now, that probably doesn't seem all that funny. But if, like me, you'd had a press release on Monday from one small business group warning that a rise would be a disaster, followed by another from another group on Tuesday saying a small rise wouldn't be a bad thing, followed by still another group yesterday proclaiming that the five per cent rate would put people out of business, you'd have allowed yourself a little smirk. It was phrased so angrily I had to check the news sites in case it had actually happened and the news sneaked out on a Wednesday for once.
Then the announcement today - no change. A couple of small releases of the 'oh, that's OK then' nature, and no doubt a lot of red faces among the original release writers.
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Freelance confusion
The NUJ has sent out its latest guidelines for freelance journalists - the rates we should expect et cetera et cetera.
As always it includes the exortation that staff journalists shouldn't poach work from freelances, and that staffers should only freelance when they are being approached because of their identity - I take it this means if someone wants the editor of the Independent to write a piece then they've no real option but to get Simon Kelner, for example. They've phrased this along the lines of staff not being allowed to prevent freelances working.
They're also saying, though, that freelances shouldn't prevent other freelances working. Sorry, what? We're not allowed to pitch for work in case someone else gets it, or something? I'm getting very confused about this...
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Cliches
Today's entry isn't what I had intended it to be. I was going to sail in on the subject of cliches. I was watching a noted business journalist on TV the other day and he came out with 'end of the day', 'the bottom line', 'game of two halves'. So I thought right, knives out and have at him.
Then a colleague pointed out that my incisive comment on this very page on the appointment of Michael Grade at the BBC was "Should be an interesting one to watch".
So I think I'll lay of the criticism for the moment. It's awful when you find yourself writing anodyne stuff; worse when, as in a Blog, you're the only editor so if you don't catch it, nobody will...
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Payments again
Interesting debate been going on over on the Freelance mailing list for a while. Someone was asked to write a brochure for a couple of thou, he did it according to the brief and then he got told it wasn't quite right and they didn't want it any more.
Should he back down, he wanted to know, or was there any chance of getting any money out of them? The answer to me is perfectly straightforward. If I buy a pint of milk and don't use it I still expect to get and pay a bill from the milkman. If the newsagent delivers my paper and I don't find time to read it I expect to pay for it regardless.
Granted there can be an issue when someone is off the brief (although so many times this is just used as an excuse by a stingy publisher). But I can only think of the one craft - journalism - in which someone can order thousands' worth of words, look at them and think they can say 'nah, don't think I'll pay after all...'
Annoying isn't the word. Unlawful probably is.
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Making the Grade
So the BBC has decided to ignore me and put Michael Grade in as chairman. Although I would have preferred Dimbleby I have to say this is probably a good decision. He's flamboyant, well-known, experienced and has a populist touch. He's not a Government yes-man and he'll call things as he sees them - although it should be stressed that his role won't or shouldn't be a day-to-day managing role, more overseeing the Corporation at a distance.
He'd probably have had a response for Hutton if he'd been there rather than his predecessor. Should be an interesting one to watch.
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Fundraising
What a fabulous idea. Independent journalist Christopher Allbritton wanted to go and cover the war in Iraq without bias from an employer, so he asked the readers of his Blog to subsidise him and they did. And now he's trying to raise the cash to go back again - click here to see the full story.
Personally I think there's something reassuringly pure about a journalist who is only accountable to his readers. So I'll just hint that I'd quite like to review one of those plasma tellies, 32in jobbie should do nicely. if you all fancied doing a whip-round. Then of course there's my 'A House With A Pool - Do We Need One' feature if you had deep enough pockets...
OK, OK, Iraq's probably more important. All power to Allbritton for thinking of it.
P. S. A tennis court would do if you can't afford a pool.
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