Jul 2004
Trends
The BBC has had to concede, as I've said before, that the Johnny and Denise show on Saturdays isn't delivering the goods.
Capital Radio, meanwhile, is suffering from the departure of Chris Tarrant. His replacement is one Johnny Vaughan.
I think Vaughan is talented. His chat show on BBC3 was excellent, and given a fair wind he could beat Jonathan Ross at his own game. But I'm seeing a pattern emerge here...
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Family trees
Interesting to see the BBC is going to do a series in which a number of celebrities trace their family trees. I've always rated genealogy as a complete waste of time.
Take my own family. I look like my dad. I never met either grandfather so I don't know whether I look like them. You could trace it back a couple of generations beyond that and nobody would have met any of their family.
Nor indeed would they be able to vouch for the fidelity of their ancestors, beyond a generation or two. This is important because if a family tree is going to mean anything it's got to be accurate - it's no use if you're going to find out, much later, that your great great great grandfather was at sea for two years before his 'son' was born so the rest is actually inaccurate.
Cynical? Maybe. But I've always felt that simply being me is enough - it's all I can be sure of, and like it or not that's true for everyone.
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Saturday night's not all right
Here we go again - the BBC wants to revamp its approach to Saturday night so it gets Johhny Vaughan and Denise Van Outen to front a show.
So we get
ratings under 3 million and a quandary for the BBC. Do they kill it or do they stick to the guns they#ve recently adopted and stick with it for a while? They've said they will allow ailing series a chance to 'bed down' - personally I can't quite see this one working even with a second or third chance, but I could be wrong.
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Own goal
Fabulous story in Private Eye today - I do hope it's true. It seems Daily Express editor Peter Hill wanted to know why people bought the Mail instead, so he launched a focus group. The only problem was that all of the Express readers, when asked why they read the Express rather than the Mail (with the Mail in front of them), decided it was because they hadn't realised the Mail was so much better, and said they'd switch papers immediately.
Don't get me wrong, I still can't stand the Mail - but that's because of what it stands for and the tone it takes. In terms of tight editing and sustaining a strong (if objectionable to me) line on a lot of subjects it's an excellent piece of work. Which the Express, to which I've contributed in the past, simply isn't.
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Farewell storage at home
So farewell then, VHS - but also farewell DVD in a fairly short time, I'm guessing. Why am I guessing this? Because there's video on demand on the way from Wanadoo, that's why. So you get your little box, you tell it to show you part 2 of The Long Firm or whatever now and it does so. And in theory you can have your storage space back.
It won't work overnight of course; for reasons I don't understand, even though I'm as much part of it as anyone, blokes in particular like to hold our DVD collections, in the same way we enjoy touching books we're never going to read again but won't ever throw away. But for the sensible contingent this could be a worthwhile development.
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Bigotry
People who read this column regularly (hi Mum) will be expecting a broadside on the Government, Iraq and how Gilligan was right and Hutton was an idiot today. Unfortunately I can't think of anything to say that hasn't been said elsewhere or which isn't completely obvious.
Instead I'd like to draw your attention to the BBC documentary on the BNP this evening. It reveals - wait for it - that the BNP is racist. This wouldn't have been worth saying, except when Jon Gaunt of
BBC London was talking about it on his estimable phone-in this morning a large amount of people mailed, texted or called in defense of said organisation. They claimed the BBC had a liberal agenda.
Well, maybe it has - but is preaching tolerance such a bad thing? Anyone who doubts that bigotry is rife elsewhere in the media really ought to
read this piece - with thanks to PJ White on the Fleet Street forum for pointing it out in the first place.
P. S. Yesterday the Mail printed about 30 bits of job ads from The Guardian, claiming they were proof that the Civil Service is wasting loads of money. In fact the vast majority of them were in local authority and nothing to do with the Civil Service. This has been a public service announcement.
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In answer to your inquiry...
Looks like the BBC is in for some severe navel-gazing. First the expenses incurred by former BBC1 hear Alan Yentob are subjected to an inquiry and now there's to be an independent investigation into BBC1's programming.
I have no idea what form this will take, but it doesn't half look like yet another attempt at a focus-group led BBC. And yet when they talk about the good old days of British telly people always remember programmes that were made just because someone thought they might be a good idea.
You'd think they'd have learned something from that.
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Dirty linen
My pet dislike, the Daily Mail, seems to be plumbing new depths today. On Saturday one Rachel Royce, estranged wife of journalist Rod Liddle (much hated by the Mail for his part in the events that led to the Hutton drivel), laid into him in print about his affair with a younger woman. And she's back today -from the intro I gather the Mail has been proactively encouraging her to sling some more mud.
Marital breakdowns aren't pretty. I find it strange that a paper that portrays itself as such a bastion of the people should want to profit from them. But hey, it's the Mail, why am I surprised..?
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Silly mistake
So, London-I is the name of the new free paper for Londoners from Express Newspapers. Fine.
Unfortunately London-I.co.uk or similar isn't the name of a domain registered to Express Newspapers at all, in any way. They forgot and someone else now has it;
Bit daft, that...
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ITV v BBC
Times have changed over the last quarter of a century, but you wouldn't know it to look at ITV's new line-up for September. There's a Guardian story about it here but essentially we're talking Parky and a bunch of dramas with Martin Clunes, Miss Marple and a bunch of refugees from EastEnders. Meanwhile the BBC has just announced the new Doctor Who won't have any Daleks.
People who know me and my foibles will be all too aware that I'm quite disproportionately happy about the return of Doctor Who, but doesn't all of the above look a bit old hat? This coming Saturday Channel 4 is to broadcast a documentary on the decline of Saturday night TV. I have no idea of the conclusions to which they're going to come and will watch with interest; it's noticeable, though, that in the sixties and seventies people flocked to the screen not only because of the lack of an alternative but because the programmes were doing something original. Had they just warmed over ideas from a quarter of a century previously, dare one suggest the decline would have set in rather earlier?
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Kerching...or not...
So here we are again, beginning of another month and has the old pay packet been refilled like everyone else's? Has it heck. Mine is all but empty because a load of publications 'pay on publication' rather than on acceptance so they think it's fine to owe me money from February because they haven't run the piece yet.
So, I'm off to the bank manager to talk sweetly about an extension to the overdraft whilst I'm owed upwards of £10K. There are times when I wonder about this freelancing lark.
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